


Retracing footsteps

by nilielh



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Arashi training camp fic, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilielh/pseuds/nilielh
Summary: In all the years they’ve known each other, Jun is in love with Sho, and that, largely, was it.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho, Ninomiya Kazunari/Ohno Satoshi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

“You’re sure about this?” Nino asks; he looks indulgent, maybe a little amused. Jun nods. Nothing’s going to go wrong. It’s just some kind of team-building exercise. Of course it’ll be okay.  
  
Jun nods, wonders if he looks as skeptical as he feels, but he can't exactly help it. “We only need one day for this. We leave Tokyo in the evening, then go back home the next day. I’ve already checked our schedules. It’s workable.”  
  
Nino slides the paper down and uses his free hand to cup his chin. “Okay.”  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” Nino says. “I don’t think the others will have any objections. Besides, this is your sort-of excuse for a group-bond so why the hell not? I say let’s do it.”  
  
Jun releases the breath he realizes he is holding and offer Nino a smile. “Nino, it’s not just that. The plan also includes –“  
  
Nino grins, reaches over to pat his hand knowingly. It’s just one of those things why he works better with Nino when it comes to planning things about Arashi’s activities because once Nino approves, he is certain the other three would too.  
  
“I’ll make sure to inform Sho-chan beforehand, don’t worry about it.” Nino says, obviously aware of what he needs to hear.  
  
He exhales gratefully and takes the paper he showed Nino. “Thanks.”  
  
So they are going to do this, Jun thinks, and that’s that.  
  
  
+  
  
He’s not a sentimental guy, not really, or at least that’s what he keeps telling himself, fighting off the urge to reminisce and trying his hardest to swallow the accompanying nostalgia down the second they exited the bus and made their way inside their rented room for the night.  
  
But then again, he guesses he’s not the only one. He saw the same thing from his bandmates’ faces, after all, and that’s, he guesses that is good enough reason to allow himself the luxury to act like a sentimental fool, for now.  
  
When they get to the top of the stairs, he chuckles, seeing the arrangement of the futons and the lone one placed on the opposite side. This, apparently, made the others chuckle, too.  
  
“Dibs on this one,” he says, pointing, grinning at the way it made Nino roll his eyes at him. He and Aiba and Nino stand there, waiting, until he spies Sho approaching, Ohno following after him. His heart does that familiar dance inside his chest at the sight of him, and that, he valiantly tries to ignore too. It’s fairly easy now, at the very least, unlike before when the simple sight of Sho’s smile is enough to tear him into pieces. He can’t allow any of that now - he shouldn’t, and being here with them - with him, is honestly an exercise to his resolve, if anything. And he intends to fulfill it with flying colors.  
  
The smile that Sho makes when his gaze catches the lone bed does something inexplicable to Jun’s heart and Jun reels at the possibility that this, in fact, is not the best and brightest idea he’s ever had. He braces himself and throws his hand when someone prompted it, hoping he is wrong.  
  
+  
  
He’s _not_.  
  
Plenty of things went wrong from then on, and Jun finds it inexplicably hard not to end up smacking himself in the face a couple of times already ever since the five of them played a round of janken to determine the sleeping arrangements. Sho won the rights to choose first and Nino being Nino, suggested that the lone bed would be the best one. Sho agreed.  
  
Of course, someone has to open his big mouth and asks, “Won’t you get lonely all by yourself there?” God damn his traitorous mouth.  
  
Sho looks taken aback. Jun feels like an even bigger idiot than he already are to begin with when Sho hesitates for all of two seconds before he answers, holding Jun’s gaze. “Well, I guess that’s –“ he says, but Jun realized he is only half-listening.  
  
Soon, the mattresses are being carefully moved, Nino barking something from the other side, Sho doing most of the pushing with Aiba’s help. Jun feels entirely detached from himself, watching the scene unfold in front of him, not knowing what to do, or what to say. His heart is racing and he very much doesn’t want to admit that it isn’t because of the fact that he and Sho are going to be sleeping next to each other, but knows that that’s exactly what’s causing it.  
  
He tries not to think about it too much and proceeds on giving Nino his gift but even that proves to be a test to his already diminishing resolve. Because the second he takes his silly gift out of his bag, Sho - starts cracking up – loud and boisterous - like watching Jun hand over Nino his gift is the funniest thing ever. Jun just wants to bask on it, close his eyes and enjoy the sound of Sho’s laughter but opts on watching him instead. Sho is still laughing when Nino tries the silly sweater on, and Jun really should pay attention to Nino but he can’t because he is still watching Sho, heart fluttering dangerously inside his chest at the sight of him.  
  
“You are so nice, Matsujun,” Sho says, hands on his stomach.  
  
God damn it all.  
  
  
+  
  
He was the last to shower and when he got out, Nino is there, waiting for him.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
Sometimes, he’s not sure whether to be thankful that Nino exists, especially when he’s being the evil spawn from hell. But today, he surely is. He’s just not averse at telling Nino that to his face, no way.  
  
“Never better,” he says.  
  
Nino nods. “Just asking,” Nino says, crossing his arms over his chest. “I can always change places with you if you feel like it. Not for your benefit, of course, but for mine since you are sleeping next to my human pillow and all,”  
  
“Thanks, but no thanks.” he says, shaking his head. He heard Nino and Ohno talking about the very thing, after all, making sure they are sleeping on the opposite ends so nothing dangerous will be caught on tape. Jun would have laughed at the hilarity of it all if not for the fact that it is obvious that Ohno and Nino are doing this more for his sake than theirs or their fans.  
  
Nino grins. “Well, just let me know. I can always ditch sleeping next to the idiot, just sayin’.”  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind.”  
  
Nino gives him that silly two-fingered salute and walks off. Jun chuckles, proceeds to dry his hair when the door opens again, Sho emerging behind it. Jun’s breath catches in his throat at the sight of him.  
  
“Matsujun, hey, can I have a minute?”  
  
He’s this close to saying, ‘ _You can have more than that, you don’t even need to ask’ but_ thankfully able to bite his tongue before he does so. Instead, he nods as he follows Sho inside.  
  
  
+  
  
It’s dark and quiet. To his right, Leader is breathing lightly in his sleep, always the first to fall asleep no matter what. To his left, he is aware of Sho shifting, probably trying to find the most comfortable position. He keeps still.  
  
“You should probably go ahead and sleep first, Matsumoto-san,” Sho murmurs. Jun wonders why that simple sentence got him gripping the sheets beneath him, holding his breath. “because you might find it hard to sleep yourself once I start snoring.”  
  
“It’s fine,” he murmurs back, wondering what in hell he is talking about. Of course it _isn’t –_ getting enough sleep is one gift he wouldn’t mind taking but this? To lie next to Sho and just hear his breathing, the sounds of his admittedly less charming snores knowing that he won’t ever get to again? Aren’t these reasons enough to back off, now? They are, but to be honest, as he lay there contemplating between getting up for a smoke and staying, he’s not at all sure. At least not anymore.  
  
“Try,” Sho murmurs, and it honestly feels like a direct stab in the heart at the same time Jun feels a light, barely-there touch against the side of his temple. “you’ll do most of the briefing tomorrow so you need to rest.”  
  
“Sho-san –“  
  
“Goodnight, Matsumoto-san.” Sho says, and it’s the last he hears from him before the snoring starts.  
  
  
+  
  
  
“Sure you’re up for this, Sho-san?” he jokes, though it mostly to cover the way his stomach is twisting painfully. The last thing he wants is to piss Sho off more than he normally would because this – all of these activities they’d lined up for them, weren’t actually necessary. They can do their team building exercise some other way, after all, something that doesn’t involve strapping his bandmate into a harness and have him climb trees or step over thin ropes only so he could go one place to another.  
  
Sho huffs like he wants to protest but knows that doing so will make him look more like a fool. Or a scared grown up with terrible fear of heights.  
  
“Tell me about it,” Sho grunts as their friends giggle and make inappropriate comments about Sho’s protective helmet. “this is your idea, right?”  
  
He grins and bravely reaches over to tap the front of Sho’s forehead hidden beneath the helmet.  
  
“Sure thing, but you can still back out if you want to. The four of us can go and mock you from there, your choice.”  
  
Sho sniffs. “No thanks.”  
  
He grins, chest tightening yet again. “Ready when you are, then.”  
  
  
+  
  
“Ahhhhhh!”  
  
Something in his stomach is twisting painfully and he’s this close to climbing that spot Sho’s in at the moment and help him out but he holds himself.  
  
“What’s wrong?” he asks instead.  
  
“Ahhhhhhh!” Sho screams. Jun doesn’t realize he’s stepping forward until a hand shoots out from somewhere and tugs him back. It’s Nino.  
  
“He’s almost there,” Nino whispers, hurriedly. “It’s okay. He’s almost there.”  
  
Sho screams again. Jun closes his eyes and tries not to think about how badly he wants to run up there and take Sho in his arms.  
  
  
+  
  
Jun’s heart is racing.  
  
“On three?” Sho whispers, his eyes trusting. It’s another direct blow to everything Jun has wished to forget, everything he doesn’t want to think about again. Somewhere in the background, someone screams, and he has to think of something to distract Sho.  
  
“Just imagine you’re at an Arashi concert,” he says. Sho hums. “On three?”  
  
“On three.”  
  
“La la la la la, ARASHI!”  
  
He smiles. “One –“  
  
“ARASHI!”  
  
“Three!” and pushes.  
  
Sho screams. “Idiot!”  
  
Yeah, Jun agrees. Talk about the biggest idiot there is.  
  
+  
  
  
+  
  
Lunch, surprisingly, wasn’t as awkward as he supposed it would be given the fact that they’ve only requested to be filmed at the beginning and a little bit after lunch was done. He was facing Sho, after all, and despite the fact that he tried to keep his attention on his food, it was hard. Especially with the way Sho was making all those tiny, delicious noises as he sipped his soup, only vaguely aware about Ohno and Nino goofing around next to him.  
  
Their toes touch a few times under the table and he couldn’t remember how many times he’d apologized.  
  
“Don’t worry about it,” Sho told him everytime but Jun still ended up worrying. It’s hilarious.  
  
Then it was time for recording. It wasn’t like they’ve never recorded a song together, all five of them at the same time because they have – only such thing happens so seldom that he can’t exactly remember the last time they did record one song with all five of them in the studio together. When they got there, Nino had simply pointed to the piano sitting at the corner to Leader and the older man went there without a word. He started playing bits of Nino’s old solo song, trying not to giggle.  
  
Somehow, it didn’t even come as a surprise for him to blurt out, “Won’t you play something?” knowing that Sho had been practicing again.  
  
“Should I?” Sho says, but he looks like he’s all about indulging him – them. When he sat down and started playing, Jun is hit with memories of his younger self, sitting quietly at the corner, watching Sho. Somehow, those were the days he swears he will never, ever forget, even when he’s old and graying, and Arashi no longer exists.  
  
The nostalgia is so overwhelming he doesn’t know how to deal with it, feeling his chest constrict with memories he doesn’t and have no intention of letting into the surface especially when he knows nothing good will come out from remembering them.  
  
He just needs to accept that fact along with everything else that has something to do with Sakurai Sho.  
  
  
+  
  
Everyone is pretty much on high-spirits when he slips out for a smoke. Nino came a little bit late for some last-minute recording and Ohno is currently babying him, much to everyone’s chagrin.  
  
He’s out lighting his second cigarette when he realized someone else is there. Somehow, he knows who it is before he even manages to raise his head to check.  
  
“Sho-san.”  
  
“Hey. You have one to spare?” Sho asks, holding his hand out, palm-spread. “I know you do.”  
  
He chuckles and hands the almost half-empty cigarette pack over. “Knock yourself out.” He says. Sho takes one out without a word and Jun lets him have the lighter too. The next few minutes are spent in silence, with the occasional sounds of their bandmates and staffs yelling something at each other. It should be calming, to be here, standing next to the person he spent more than a decade working with, but it’s not.  
  
In fact, his fingers are shaking around the cigarette, as are his knees. It's amusing as much as it is terrifying, to be honest.  
  
“Tell me something, Matsujun,” Sho mutters quietly, effectively startling Jun.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Sho turns his head and takes one last drag from his cigarette before throwing it on the ground and crushing it with his shoe.  
  
“Tell me what made you change,” Sho says, “what triggered it, what made you decide you had enough of us making fun of you and that you needed us to look at you differently. What made you do it? _Who_ made you do it?”  
  
“Sho-san –“  
  
Sho’s hand grabs his wrist and then somehow, Sho is pressed close, almost too much so that he can vaguely smell the alcohol on his breath.  
  
“Was it me?” Sho asks, “Was I the reason you changed so much? Tell me, tell me, Matsujun.”  
  
“Yes –“ he finds himself saying before he can even stop himself, lowering his gaze and trying his hardest to draw his hand back. Sho doesn’t let him. “no, I mean-“ he starts, all ready to explain himself but everything sort of dies on his tongue when Sho tugs at his wrist, in warning.  
  
“Be honest,” Sho tells him. “we won’t be able to fix this if we’re going to keep hiding things from each other. I’ll be honest with you too,”  
  
“Sho-san, I – I don’t know what you’re –“  
  
“I know this is years too late but I still want to know,” Sho says, fingers light against his wrist. “You and I – we were okay before, right? We were close and then suddenly – suddenly you just, you went away. Suddenly you’ve gone cold and I – I didn’t know how to deal with that.”  
  
“I thought that was what you wanted,” Jun says. “I – I thought I was getting annoying and you – I didn’t want to keep bothering you. You were stressed enough with school and work and –“  
  
“But you didn’t have to go as far as that,” Sho says, his voice tinged with just a little bit of misery. Jun wonders what he’s done. “you walked away so far and so fast that it was very hard for me to keep up. You keep walking away that I no longer have the chance to follow you,”  
  
“Sho-san, I don’t –“  
  
“I just want the old Jun back,” Sho says, and Jun’s heart is pretty much trying to beat its way out of chest by now. “I know I should have asked you this years before but I – I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know if saying this now is going to make a difference but I want to say it just the same.”  
  
“Sho-san, what the hell are you talking about?”  
  
Sho turns then, but only so Jun can see the way Sho’s expression softens, the way his lips curl into a smile that just about break Jun’s heart into tiny pieces. It’s the same one Sho gave him then, years ago, the one that made him realize he’s fallen so deeply in love with Sho and that there’s no going back from it no matter how hard he tries to.  
  
“I thought you’re in love with me then,” Sho whispers, hesitant, unsure. “what happened, Jun? What did I do? What stupid thing did I do that pushed you away from me for good?”  
  
He gapes, shocked, and finds that he is unable to say anything until Sho tugs at their hands and reaches up to touch his cheek, the mole above his lips.  
  
  
“Tell me and I’ll do my best to make it up to you. Just to make sure I’ll get it back, just so I could get you back. Tell me, please?”


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re playing cupid, huh?” Ohno says, arms crossed over his chest and cracking a smile in answer to Nino’s arched brows; it makes Nino wonder who the babbling idiot was who spilled their Training Camp plan to Ohno was before it is even finalized. “It’s cute.”

Nino crosses the short distance between them while quietly reminding himself not to be an idiot and kiss Ohno right then, because, duh, public place, damn it. “I’m not,” he snorts, opting on flicking Ohno’s forehead lightly instead. It’s a lame excuse for contact but to hell with it. “and stop calling me cute, oh my god, I’m not a baby, or a puppy or a -”

Ohno simply shrugs. “I wasn’t talking about your face, _dummy_.” Ohno cuts in, looking and sounding amused and Nino has to roll his eyes at him in answer. “I meant, what you’re obviously doing, trying to bring Sho-kun and Jun-kun together, since you never bothered before. _That’s_ cute.” Ohno clarifies.

Nino doesn’t need him to, really, but maybe, it is one of those days when Ohno feels particularly clever that he has to make sure Nino knows it too. It’s kind of amusing, really, but the last thing he wants is for anyone – most especially Jun or Sho, Ohno and Aiba included, of course – to catch up on this little plan of his.

“I seriously, _honestly_ , don’t know what you are going on about.”

Ohno chuckles, eyes shining with mischief and understanding. Nino wants to be offended but it’s a little difficult when he actually likes that look on Ohno’s face very, very much to even mind it. Even if the reaction is drawn at his expense, it’s okay, only because it is Ohno.

But he’s not that stupid to admit it out loud, not really.

Ohno is making that ‘ _I know I’m awesome’_ face and Nino really, really feels like hitting him. Or kissing him, but, whatever. He instead settles for a quick grope, squeezing Ohno’s dick through his pants and making Ohno squeak in return. Then he throws an arm around Ohno’s shoulders and tugs him forward, whispering,

“Shut up and stop looking at me like that. It’s time for coffee. Come on, treat me.”

Ohno shakes his head and breathes, “Nino –“ but Nino simply huffs, ignoring him. There are far more important things than answering one’s pouting boyfriend’s queries about stupid friends, like vending machine coffees and stolen kisses, which Nino plans to collect as soon as he possibly can.

“Hurry up, Oh-chan.”

+

Nino is sure Sho is either blind, or acting like he’s blind or he is just plain stupid. He tells the same thing to Ohno, as quietly as he could manage it, at least once Ohno has stopped acting like an idiot, or more like a third grader about to embark on his first class trip ever.

“I don’t think he is,” Ohno returns lowly, careful not to raise his voice lest the others will hear him. “not intentionally, at least.”

“Oh, I think it _is_ intentional,” he snorts, flipping the pages of the magazine he has in his hand without actually reading it. “I mean, what does he need more? A fucking confession? Does the King acting like a star –struck fangirl when he’s around still isn’t hint enough?” he grits under his breath.

“That’s actually pretty nice,” Ohno breathes and Nino can’t help it, he rolls his eyes in answer. “if it is me, I’d like it.”

“You’d like what?”

“A _confession_ ,” Ohno raises his head just high enough to show that motherfucking smug smile playing at the corners of Ohno’s mouth and damn it, _seriously?_ “since I didn’t get any. All I got was me getting shoved up a wall, a ‘ _shut up’_ and a succeeding kiss full of tongue disguised as one.”

“Fuck you.” he counters, face hot.

Ohno grins and reaches over to pat his cheek. “Remind me later.” Ohno answers, tone low, eyes dark and if that aren’t reasons enough to make Nino forget where they are, who they are with, then Ohno licking his lips almost does.

_Jesus Christ._

+

One look at Jun and he is sure the other man is this close from considering wrapping this trip up and driving himself back to Tokyo at the very first chance he gets. It’s hilarious in its entirety but is also heartbreaking in a sort of twisted way and Nino, despite liking the very idea of pissing Jun off more than he would in normal circumstances, hates seeing Jun like this – miserable and suffering in silence.

“Leader,” he calls, tugging Ohno aside before Ohno gets as far as two steps away from him once they exited the van. He spies Jun walking fast as if the devil is after him, Sho trailing after him. “a minute, please?”

“What is it?”

He makes no effort in hiding his worries from Ohno, knowing that sooner or later, Ohno will notice it anyway. “I change my mind,” he starts, and immediately gets an answering frown from Ohno. “I don’t think we should sleep together.”

“What?” Ohno hisses. “What the hell are you talking about, Nino –“

“Jesus, _breathe_ , Oh-chan.” he says, shaking his head. Ohno looks as if he’s considering tugging Nino back into the van so he could properly explain what he is talking about, but thinks better of it. He crosses his arms over his chest and gives Nino a look instead.

“Okay, right, I’m sorry that came out really wrong. Let me rephrase it.”

“Damn right, you should.” Ohno grunts. Nino knows the feeling of elation is entirely out of place, especially when none of this is about him and Ohno. But the fact that Ohno can still make him feel like he’s high on something just because Ohno is looking at him as if he can’t decide whether to kiss him or punch him makes Nino wonder for a bit what he did to deserve this, to deserve Ohno.

“Calm your balls, Satoshi, because it’s not what you think it is, okay?” he starts, trying to make it sound like he’s not equally close from tugging Ohno by the sleeves of his shirt and kissing him senseless in return and _god_ , what does that even make him, then?

“I just thought that it would be better for us not to sleep next to each other tonight so as to minimize the chances of Jun ending up crying himself to sleep.”

Ohno looks at him as if he’s crazy, and for a second there Nino thinks he might already be; the urge to kiss Ohno is so strong, after all, that he has to literally ground himself as he swallows the urge down.

Ohno chuckles and says, “You’re hilarious,” sounding not the least bit amused.

“This is actually me being nice,” he retorts, feigning hurt. “I thought you wanted me to be a better person, so this is me trying to be one. Don’t you love me?” he says, only half-joking, stepping closer to Ohno and fluttering his eyelashes at him.

Ohno looks doubtful for a second before Ohno is shaking his head and reaching out to touch the side of Nino’s mouth.

“Unfortunately, I do,” Ohno says, sounding far too fond for someone who looks like he is vaguely questioning his own sanity, are as his life choices, most of which includes being in a relationship with someone like Nino. To be honest, Nino usually finds himself thinking about that too. “and no kidding, I always find myself wondering why.”

He sniffs, feigning hurt. “Break up with me, then.”

Ohno is suddenly in his space, taking his face in between Ohno’s careful hands, Ohno’s mouth not even a breath away from his own. He gasps and makes a lame attempt at pulling away but Ohno is, and always has been, stronger than he is that Ohno barely twitches when he tries to shove him away.

“Say that again and I swear you’ll find yourself clawing the back seat of our company’s van while you scream my name, begging me, asking me to give it to you, over and over again.” Ohno says, voice deep and husky as walks his lips from the corner of Nino’s mouth up, up, up and breathes the words right against Nino’s ear. It’s the tone Ohno rarely uses, at least one that has Nino whimpering in return at the sudden rush of unbidden memories of himself and Ohno, as Ohno unravels him, piece by piece, shaking limb after shaking limb the way no one ever had before.

Ohno also doesn’t seem to mind where they are, and in that moment, as Ohno’s breath – warm and familiar and distracting – paints his face, it’s obvious he doesn’t, either.

He feels like he’s suffocating, like he’s breathing underwater, gasping as he tries to form words despite the difficulty.

“I was just kidding, Oh-chan, _geez_.” he says, fingers tight and coaxing around Ohno’s own.

Ohno lets him go, but not after a brief, hard kiss pressed against the side of his temple. “Well, I wasn’t; surely, you’d know if I am, wouldn’t you? So make no mistake about it, that if I hear anything about this ever again, I swear I don’t care who’s watching; I will drag your skinny ass away for everyone to see and I’ll fuck you against any available corner we manage to reach just to make sure you get it in that thick head of yours that the words _us_ and _break up_ shouldn’t be mentioned in the same sentence, ever.” Ohno says, “Got it?”

Nino feels weak in the knees and he is honestly having trouble breathing. Thankfully, Ohno takes pity on him by worming an arm around him and tugging him in, hands firm but careful around his waist.

“Yes, Oh-chan.” He murmurs, and gets a gentle but possessive squeeze on the hip from Ohno in answer.

+

“Sho-san.”

“Yes, Nino.”

“Sho-san.”

“Nino.”

“Sho-san.”

“ _What?_ ” Sho snaps, raising his head and effectively taking his attention away from phone.

Nino grins and makes a big show of sliding himself next to Sho. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Sho harrumphs. “If you’re referring to the activities you and Matsumoto-kun have lined up for us, which, if I may recall, does involves a lot of climbing and running, sorry, but I’m not going to give you any reason to gloat seeing that tomorrow’s still a few hours away and I still have the rest of the evening to prep myself.”

“ _Nawww_ , you don’t have to be like that, Sho-san! No matter how badly you think of me, I swear I don’t like seeing you so stressed about something that is supposed to be enjoyable! So, you know, I’m just saying that you can always ask Jun-kun to exempt you from this activity. He can just ask you to do the hula next to our manager or whatever, while we’re having the time of our lives with the ziplines,”

Sho’s eyes narrow, first in suspicion then in obviously feigned hurt, his lips slashing into a thin line. “How dare you presume I would rather do that and watch you retards from the ground instead of –“

“Would you?” he cuts in, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Of course not! Over my dead and obviously gorgeous body!”

He grins, reaching down to tap Sho’s crotch through his sweats. “Good luck, then!” dancing away from Sho’s grabby hands before Sho is able to reach him.

+

He wants to feel bad for Sho, he truly does, but frankly, after all the pain Jun had suffered because of him (even if Sho doesn’t know it because Sho is terribly good at pretending he doesn’t know things, like Nino himself does sometimes, to be honest), he can’t. Sho deserves every little prank Jun could come up with, after all, even though none of which could ever make up for all the hurt Jun had endured through the years because of him.

“Having fun, Sho-san?” he huffs, grinning from ear to ear as Sho approaches him with a scowl. Behind Sho, Jun is still jumping, making the rope Sho walks on shake unsteadily and grinning like a kid or much more like a crazy person. It’s exhilarating to watch and Nino can’t not share his happiness, he’s grinning too before he even realized it.

“You and him, seriously,” Sho huffs, but it is obvious that despite Sho’s fear, he is laughing too, but it’s different somehow. Sho’s smile is soft around the edges, and there’s this look on his face that reminds Nino of the same he sometimes draws from Ohno, and it’s heartwarming and humbling, sometimes heartbreaking in its simplicity.

Because it is so obvious that these two love each other to a fault, maybe not in the way he and Ohno feel for each other, but somehow despite that, their combined stubbornness is what’s keeping them from taking that deciding step to be happy.

More than a decade passed and yet they’re still doing the same stupid dance – loving each other from afar like the idiot that they both were and _god_ , watching them do the same thing to each other for years breaks his heart.

And it has to stop.

“I’m not sure if I should be glad that Satoshi-kun exists to tame you, because if not, I don’t think the three of us will survive you and Matsumoto-kun when you’re both acting like the evil twin from hell,” Sho muses. Nino would have scoffed at him for that, maybe follow Jun’s lead and scare the crap out of Sho just for the heck of it but for now he lets it go.

Instead, he leans in and holds his hand out for Sho to take, helping Sho cross the short distance to the platform he is standing at and murmurs lowly, careful so as to make sure his mic doesn’t pick up anything.

“You sure look like you’re enjoying it anyway,” he breathes, then, “but you know what’s more enjoyable than seeing him make fun of you and your admittedly embarrassing fear to be up here?” he whispers, carefully watching Sho’s expression changes from barely concealed amusement to full-blown curiousity.

He smirks and points. “Go crawl your way inside that wooden hole and see for yourself.” 

+

He doesn’t even pretend he’s not enjoying every bits of this. Though, to be honest, seeing the expression on Jun’s face, the stiff curve of his shoulders the second Sho starts yelling like a loser honestly made him pause.

He can barely see Sho’s face from his spot on the platform but he can clearly see Jun’s, and it’s – it’s devastating to watch the usually calm and collected man reduced into trembles at the sight of the man he’s in love with screaming knowing he can’t – or is not allowed – to do anything to help him.

_“Ahhhhhh!”_

“What’s wrong?”

He watches as Jun unconsciously takes a step forward, teeth digging into his lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

_“Ahhhhhhh!”_

“He’s almost there,” he whispers, hurriedly, fingers tightening around Jun’s wrist. “It’s okay. He’s almost there.”

After that, Sho screams again and Nino watches Jun close his eyes trying not to think about how badly he wants to run up there to get Sho out knowing that he can’t. He can’t.

+

Sho looks like he doesn’t want to believe him but is terribly having a hard time convincing himself otherwise. Nino can tell it’s both and for once since this whole thing started, since Nino decided to intervene, Nino feels genuinely bad for him.

“Why – how – I –“ Sho says, more like stutters, and Nino does ended up feeling bad for him. It’s hard not to, not when it’s clear that Jun isn’t the only one who is suffering all these time.

“Believe me, I know how it feels,” he says, “it sucks, I know but nothing will change if neither of you is going to be brave enough to want to change things, so, I don’t know, won’t you try?”

“I –“ Sho says, then stops, shaking his head. It took him a minute longer to follow what he wants to say and when he does, Nino feels his chest expand with relief. “I w-want to,” Sho breathes, “but how? Nino, it’s not – it’s not easy, I mean, is there any way to fix this? And would _he_ even want me to?”

He smiles, hands finding Sho’s and holding on. He’s smiling, but he feels like crying, too.

“Listen to me, Sho-chan,” he says, “I need you to listen to me very carefully…”

+

The minute he walks into the door, he knows he did the right thing by coming in later than expected. He smiles, meets Ohno’s eyes for a brief moment before he is greeting everyone and apologizing.

“Sorry, I got lost on my way here,” he says, knowing full well no one’s going to believe him. From the corner of his eyes, he catches Sho looking. He doesn’t raise his head to meet the other man’s gaze but he does something with his hand knowing Sho will understand.

The first half hour they spent in front of the cameras. One is being interviewed while the others are grilling, eating, or simply talking. He’d been itching to worm his way next to Ohno but he held himself knowing that if he do that, they’d end up goofing around each other again and that’s the last thing he needs for Jun to see.

He sits next to Sho, mindful of the way Jun keeps throwing glances their way when he thinks they’re not looking.

“You see that, Sho-chan?” he murmurs under his breath just as Sho hands the paper plate full of chicken wings and other grilled stuff over.

Sho is quiet for a moment before he speaks. “Yeah. Yeah, Nino.”

“It’s up to you now, okay?” he says, taking a bite. On the other side, Ohno is mouthing something Nino can’t exactly understand. Nino shakes his head at him and mouths, _“Later_.” before taking his gaze back to Sho.

“I’m…. is it normal to feel this way? I’m – I’m scared, Nino.” Sho says, lowly, hesitantly and Nino feels like hugging him. “I… what if I mess up? What if, instead of fixing things, I’d end up breaking things between us permanently?”

He chuckles good-naturedly, knowing full well where Sho is coming from. It’s what’s keeping him and Jun from their happiness, after all, the very same thing that almost kept him and Ohno from being happy too so he does what he won’t in normal circumstances and takes Sho’s hand in his, and squeezes.

“He loves you, Sho-chan,” he murmurs, finding joy at the fact that Jun is openly watching them.

“Isn’t that reason enough to try? Saying you love him too won’t hurt you, as much as it’s been hurting him for years, knowing that he feels that way about you but he can’t say it, because he’s scared too. You’re not the only one, Sho-chan; he’s terrified too, you know, and he’s been that way ever since the day he decided to keep it all to himself and just love you in silence.” He adds, then, softly, he follows.

“Don’t you think it’s high time you change that?”

Sho looks like he’s not sure whether to believe him but Nino knows that he already does. He smiles when he realizes Jun has excused himself, meeting Ohno’s eyes as Sho follows his line of sight.

“I think you should, Sho-chan,” he says, pointing his mouth towards Jun’s retreating back. “Right now. Go.”

“Let’s hope you’re right about this or I’m seriously killing myself.” Sho mutters. He grins and smacks him affectionately on the butt on his way out just as the cameramen leaves them alone to feed themselves as Ohno comes over and pecks him on the cheek.

“Hi,” He says as Ohno settles next to him, his hand warm and familiar across the small of Nino’s back.

“Hi yourself,” he returns with a grin just as Aiba bumps shoulder with him before handing him a glass of beer.

“You okay?” Ohno whispers, brushing touches across his back.

He smiles, bumping his forehead against Ohno’s chin and chuckling. “Better now.”

“Good. Let’s eat.”

“Okay.”

+

He excused himself after a while, leaving Ohno to finish the food he’d piled up on Nino’s plate with the intention to smoke when he finds Jun and Sho on the other side of the cabin, standing next to each other in the relative darkness. Neither of them are talking, or smoking, but even from the distance, Nino could tell that something had happened. Nino spies the way Sho lifts their joined hands up to his lips (wow!) before he drops a kiss to the back of Jun’s hand. 

The sound of shuffling feet tears his attention away from the sight of it to see who has come to bother him. As expected, it is Ohno, stumbling out of the door, calling Nino’s name.

“I’m here.”

“Thought you went out for a smoke, then why aren’t you –“ Ohno says, or at least starts to but he is immediately there to tug Ohno aside, tugging him on the opposite corner where it’s darker, pushing him lightly against the wall and then seizing his face in between his hands and kissing him.

“I love you,” he whispers, repeating it in between gentle nips on Ohno’s bottom lip. “I love you. I love you.”

“Hmmm.”

“Sorry if I didn’t say it the first time, or the second time, or the third. I just thought you’d appreciate it more if I acted on it instead of saying it. But I do love you. More than you ever think I do. Words just…they aren’t enough to describe how I feel about you, really,” He says; it’s embarrassing, even more so that he’s saying the words when he’s completely sober but somehow, he knows that he wants to.

Ohno smiles, lovely and soft and so, so fond that just the sight of it is enough to make Nino fall for him again. This time, it’s Ohno who leans in first to bring their mouths together for a softer, tamer kiss.

“I was kidding, Kazu,” Ohno breathes, “and I swear I wouldn’t change a thing about it, never. Words don’t mean a thing if I can’t have you, so it’s good. Though saying you love me once won’t hurt, not really. And I love you too. So much. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do now.”

Ohno chuckles and kisses the tips of his nose. “Silly,” Ohno breathes. “you’ve known it all along, don’t lie. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have resolved into shoving me up that wall and kissing me, you know it.”

“Fine.” He agrees, feeling pretty much good about himself, especially when he chances a glance back to where Jun and Sho are and sees Jun with his head ducked down, an obviously embarrassed but very happy grin tugging at the corners of his beautiful mouth while Sho leans in to say something to him.

“Fine.” He says.

Ohno tugs him in and worms one arm around him, kissing his ear.

“Let’s head back?”

He nods. “Lets.” he agrees, knowing for sure that Jun and Sho are going to take a while.

And it’s okay. They have so much to make up for, after all.


	3. Road to forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part?
> 
> (Ugh, forgive the cheese. I wrote this for someone who told me she likes it. Guess she didn't really mean it. Oops.)

Jun’s not entirely sure how they’ve managed to leave the others behind without even talking but somehow, they just did. Sho happened to find a car key stuffed in his jacket pocket for some unknown reason, not knowing how it got there, or who had put it there. And then exactly two minutes later, a text from Nino followed that simply read, **13-05 – Ji-chan**.  
  
It’s Nino’s manager’s car plate number, apparently.  
  
Five minutes later, Jun is on the passenger seat of Nino’s manager’s van, Sho driving one-handedly because he wouldn’t let go of Jun. They are obviously on their way back to the cabin they slept the night before even without either of them bringing the matter up; neither of them mentioned anything after Sho’s untimely confession (and his, in return) but somehow, it is just the natural progression of things that they somehow agreed they would want to be alone for a while so they could talk some more.  
  
It didn’t even take Sho that long to drive them there. The next time Jun looks up from his and Sho’s twined fingers perched on Jun’s lap, Sho has somehow parked the car at the cabin’s front without Jun knowing it.  
  
“Oh, we’re here?” he asks, frowning.  
  
Sho chuckles in answer and rewards him with a kiss pressed at the back of his knuckles. It’s sweet and so damn distracting Jun finds himself charmed all over again.  
  
“Yes,” Sho says, “Probably for about five minutes now, but you seemed rather occupied with something else.” Sho teases, because it is obvious that Sho is aware that Jun’s attention was wholly focused on their hands, at the sight of their fingers tangled together and well, Sho couldn’t really blame him.  
  
“Shut up,” he mutters, but somehow, even his desire to sound annoyed is hindered by the fact that he is blushing and grinning like a lunatic, especially when Sho leans over to drop a sound kiss to his cheek.  
  
“You’d have to do more than that to shut me up for real now, Matsumoto,” Sho says, eyes dark and tone shaded with something else that has Jun shivering before he could even stop it.  
  
There’s a tingling sensation at the bottom of his stomach and Jun knows it has everything to do with the fact that Sho is gazing at him almost predatorily while Sho’s thumb is rubbing the inside of his palm insistently.  
  
He nods his head in quiet submission, then gasps when Sho’s mouth found his for a quick, hard kiss.  
  
“Let’s go.”  
  
  
+  
  
Jun supposed it should be awkward, given the fact that both he and Sho are off to do something life-changing in a matter of minutes but somehow, he just can’t find the brains to be worried. For one, he couldn’t deny the fact that he’s wanted this to happen for so long that being here now with Sho, with Sho’s hand tangled with his, warm and a little sweaty, is obviously taking away his ability to think rationally.  
  
Sho tugs at their joined hands, firmly this time, as they reach the top landing, pulling at their hands until Jun is left with no choice but to step closer till they’re almost nose to nose. Sho lets him go but only so he can use both hands to cup Jun’s face tenderly, pulling Jun down so Sho can rest their foreheads together.  
  
“Can I kiss you again, Jun?” Sho asks in a whisper, and Jun laughs, can’t not, at the absurdity of it all. Jun is all ready to jump Sho’s bones at this point, after all, but Sho seems wholly inclined to take it slow somehow. It’s actually kind of sweet but also pretty hilarious.  
  
“You can do anything you want with me, Sho-san, for fuck’s sake, stop asking,” he says, grabbing the front of Sho’s shirt and kissing his surprised mouth fully. When he pulls away, they are both breathing hard and Jun can’t resist kissing Sho once more just because he can.  
  
“Anything?” Sho asks, voice rough and eyes gone very, very dark.  
  
Jun swallows heavily, and despite his earlier bravado, he realized he’s still scared. Over a decade of loving Sho in secret (at least that’s what’s he kept on telling himself) didn’t prepare him for this – that one day, Sho will recognize his feelings and will even reciprocate it. But Sho did and it’s somehow crazy and scary all at the same time.  
  
But Jun is not going to make the mistake of letting his stupid fear get in between, not now, no.  
  
He pushes himself closer to Sho till there’s no space between them, leaning down purposely so he can nip at Sho’s plum bottom lip teasingly.  
  
“Anything, Sho-san,” he breathes.  
  
Sho growls, raw and hungry, hand going around the back of his neck and kissing him.  
  
  
+  
  
  
“You sure about this, Jun?” Sho breathes into his neck and Jun has to stifle a moan at the shocking sensation of Sho’s lips pressed against his skin. They’ve only managed to relieve each other off their shirts, his hands curled around Sho’s elbow for dear life while Sho’s own are tangled through his hair.  
  
They are on their sides, facing each other, one of his legs is thrown companionably over Sho’s hip as Sho peppers his face with little, open-mouthed kisses.  
  
“Are you?” he asks in return, because as much as he is sure about what he wants, he has to be sure that he’s not the only one. He’s been ready for _this_ – for S _ho_ – ever since Sho took his hand and kissed him, but he has to know that Sho is, too.  
  
He leans up and presses his mouth against the side of Sho’s own, letting his lips linger, his thumb rubbing affectionate touches over the jut of Sho’s elbow. Sho hums and leans into him, shifting to nuzzle the start of his hair as Sho pulls him closer, closer, closer, till there’s not even a tiny inch distance separating them.  
  
“Very,” Sho whispers into his temple, soft and sure, and Jun feels himself smile in answer, hiding it against the crook of Sho’s neck. “But if you think we’re going fast, if you think we should, I don’t know, wait or something, just tell me. I mean –“  
  
“You had me waiting for more than a decade now, Sho-san,” Jun complains into the hollow space between Sho’s neck and shoulder, nuzzling the same spot softly, affectionately. There’s this damn itch vibrating across his skin and he knows that if Sho doesn’t do anything about it fast, he’ll have to do it himself even if doing so will certainly shock Sho out of his mind, he’s certain of it. “Think about it.”  
  
Sho’s answering chuckle made him giggle, too, and somehow, despite his earlier fear, he knows that there’s no need for it. He and Sho are in this together, finally, and that they are not going to mess up what took them years and years to come to terms with the fact that they love each other too much only to fuck up in the end.  
  
Sho takes his hand to the back of Jun’s head, cradling it protectively, steadily, and when Jun raises his eyes to meet Sho’s, he realizes Sho is smiling. Sho’s fingers cup Jun’s jaw, and for a second there, Jun is left breathless at the intensity of Sho’s gaze on him.  
  
“I have loved you for so long, Jun,” Sho breathes, and that’s…Jun has no words for it, bracing himself as Sho’s expression softens visibly. “Ever since you walked up to me that day and shook my hand, I fell in love with you. I just. I’m sorry if I didn’t say it, if I couldn’t, if I was too scared to admit it then. Sorry that I ended up pushing you away instead, sorry that I was afraid I’d end up hurting you if I told you I wanted you for myself, but I guess I just have to do my best to make it up to you. I… I love you. With all of my heart, I love you.”  
  
He is shaking before he realized what is happening, and then Sho’s fingers are on his face, wiping the tears Jun doesn’t know he is shedding until Sho wipes them away.  
  
“Kiss me,” he says, hoarsely, barely able to make out the words because his chest is heaving and his throat is too tight to speak. “Kiss me, Sho-san, kiss me.”  
  
Sho doesn’t answer and Jun kind of doesn’t need him to. He simply leans up for a kiss, glad that Sho is already there to meet him halfway.  
  
  
+  
  
They don’t talk much after that, and maybe, they don’t need to. Jun finds himself beneath Sho, with far less clothes than they would have probably preferred when they’re in the company of each other before, but not anymore. Sho’s mouth is on his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses over his heated skin while Jun is busy touching Sho all over, familiarizing himself with everything that is Sho. He knows the other man by sight, of course, _of course_ , but reacquainting himself with Sho through touch alone is a completely different matter altogether.  
  
“S-Sho-san –“ he gasps at the feel of Sho’s tongue – wet and wicked – as it traces teasing patterns over and across Jun’s left collarbone. It’s warm in all the places Sho’s hands and mouth have touched, and Jun knows that if Sho begins his journey downwards Jun’s body, it’s game over for him.  
  
“Shhh,” Sho hums, fingers warm against Jun’s stomach, his hips; he can’t be bothered to keep the noises in, not when it feels too good to have Sho above him, moving slow but certain, his touches heating every single nerve ending in Jun’s body with so little resistance. He throws his head back when Sho’s lips found one of his nipples and worry it gently with his teeth, tonguing it to full hardness afterwards while he fingers the other.  
  
“God, I want you so much,” Sho breathes, and it’s all Jun can do not to writhe in ecstasy, especially when Sho rolls his hips and digs his hard-on against Jun’s clothed erection, keening when Sho repeated the action twice enough to make the hair at the back of Jun’s neck stand on end.  
  
“Sho-san, oh please, Sho –“  
  
Sho works his way down Jun’s body, with purpose, his fingers hot against Jun’s hips as he tugs the last offending material covering Jun’s most private parts with ease. The cold air that hits Jun’s cock makes him jerk, but it is soon halted by the wonderful feel of Sho’s hand wrapping itself around the base of Jun’s dick carefully.  
  
“Oh God, oh Jesus –“  
  
“Jun, Jun –“ Sho returns, kissing Jun’s navel softly before all coherent thoughts leave Jun as Sho’s mouth – hot and wet and eager – closes around the head of him for a sample taste. Jun’s hips jerk without volition and Sho pulls away, coughing lightly.  
  
“Oh shit, I’m sorry!” Jun apologizes, half-sitting, bracing himself on the futon with his elbows. Sho looks absolutely sheepish, boyish, and Jun’s heart swells in his chest at the sight of him. “Sho-san, you don’t have to –“  
  
“I want to,” Sho says, taking Jun’s cock in hand again before ducking down to nose the inside of Jun’s thigh lovingly. “Jun, I want to. Let me, please let me.”  
  
Jun shivers at that, finds himself unable to say anything as he nods his head and lets Sho do what he wants with him.  
  
+  
  
He’s not going to last long, Jun realizes this as soon as Sho parts his mouth wide enough to let his cock in, thumb rubbing the underside with purpose. Jun has fingers fisted on the futon, teeth digging into his lips to keep himself yelling. It’s not even that Sho is that good, because Jun has it better, to be honest, but just the fact that it’s Sho doing this to him, that it’s Sho’s perfect mouth moaning around his cock is enough to have Jun shaking in seconds.  
  
“Sho-san, I’m –“ he warns, taking his hand away from its death grip on the futon so he can put it on Sho’s hair, in warning, but Sho simply hums around his mouthful and pulls the tiny bit off so he can work on sucking the head in earnest. Jun half-screams, muffling it a second too late against the crook of his elbow as his hips jerk in counter and comes, shuddering all over as he feels Sho’s mouth still around him as Jun comes and comes as if he’s never going to stop.  
  
+  
  
It’s probably hours later (or just minutes, though he couldn’t tell) when he finds himself moving again, worming out of Sho’s affectionate hug and equally-affectionate kisses so he can return the favor. Sho chuckles when he told Sho what he’s up to, pushing Sho on his back and parking himself in between Sho’s spread legs with determination. Sho looks amused and maybe a little smug, but there’s that obvious tenderness at the way he is smiling at Jun even though Jun is in the middle of invading his boxers, touching Sho through the thin fabric.  
  
Jun feels as if Sho is staring right into his soul, his heart beating rapidly inside his chest as he lets his fingers work despite the way they are shaking just like the rest of him.  
  
“You’re mine now, right?” Sho breathes, soft and uncertain, makes Jun pause. He looks up and finds the same thing curling the edges of Sho’s mouth and it breaks Jun’s heart a little to know that even now, even after everything they’ve told each other, Sho is still unsure about this, about Jun’s feelings for him.  
  
But then again, maybe it is because Jun hasn’t said the same things himself, hasn’t told Sho he loves the other man just as much.  
  
“From the first day I found you with the others in the practice hall and you made fun of me by saying I look like an insect, Sho-san,” he says, cupping Sho firmly through his boxers and grinning at the way it draws a moan so deep from the back of Sho’s throat. “So take me. Because I’m yours, always will, always have been.”  
  
“Jun –“  
  
Jun smiles and tugs the offending fabric down Sho’s hips, Sho helping him along by lifting himself from the bed, his fingers light on Jun’s hair.  
  
+  
  
Jun feels full. His mouth stretches almost obscenely around Sho’s cock and he doesn’t even need to see himself to know this. He hums through his mouthful and gives up trying to meet Sho’s eyes on his position between Sho’s legs, screwing his eyes shut and simply letting Sho set the pace.  
  
Occasionally, he is letting his fingers walk down to cup Sho’s balls, one after the other, hearing Sho’s breathing picking up everytime he does it. He pulls his mouth away once only so he can roll his tongue over and across the dripping slit and Sho is gasping like he’s drowning, fingers tightening on Jun’s hair as if it’s the only thing grounding him.  
  
“Jun, Jun,” Sho keens when Jun angles his head once again and lets Sho’s cock slide deep, feels it’s weight beneath his tongue when Jun hollows his cheeks around it. Sho is mewling in answer, and if it’s not enough to make Jun hard again, then Sho writhing and very clearly trying not to thrust his hips and fuck Jun’s mouth with abandon surely would.  
  
He pulls his mouth just far enough to talk, but he keeps rubbing the slit with his thumb absently.  
  
“Do it, Sho-san,” Jun says, cheeks hot and his mouth feels bruised and abused. Sho gasps, cupping Jun’s jaw tenderly. “Don’t hold back. Just do it.”  
  
“Jun, oh God –“  
  
He ducks down and takes the entire head into his mouth and sucks.  
  
+  
  
Jun will forever remember this day as the one he and Sho officially got together and sucked each other off by means of sealing the deal. It’s kind of embarrassing, not to mention, filthy, to associate the day he and Sho have finally stopped dancing around each other as the day they also decided to fuck each other’s brains out the first time, but it couldn’t be helped.  
  
“Jun, let me –“ Sho hisses, and on his struggle to pull away, he accidentally tugged Jun closer, his cock popping out of Jun’s mouth wetly. Jun doesn’t waste time and by putting it back in, fingers light on Sho’s balls as Jun hums mutely around Sho’s cock. Sho groans, already given up trying to push Jun away as his hips rise from the futon to fuck Jun’s mouth shallowly. Jun grunts, wanting it, wanting all of it, all of Sho, the taste of Sho stronger every passing second. Three, four thrusts and Sho is keening, arching from the bed with last strong surge of his hips before Jun’s mouth is flooded with the intoxicating taste of Sho’s pleasure, swallowing eagerly as he keeps his mouth around Sho for a little while longer.  
  
  
+  
  
It’s totally unfair that after everything they did, Sho still looks gorgeous unlike he himself probably is. His hair is a mess, his lips feel bruised and full, and he can smell Sho’s come somewhere near the vicinity of his chin. But he’s too damn sated to even think about wiping his face clean as he parks himself above Sho, staring at his too-gorgeous smile and the seemingly out-of-place boyish smirk.  
  
Jun is so in love with him it’s totally hopeless.  
  
“What?” he says, airily, though he’s grinning from ear to ear, too, so it’s kind of difficult to pretend he’s feeling anything but elated. Sho simply shakes his head and reaches down to tuck Jun’s hair behind his ear and lets his touch linger for a bit before he is pinching Jun’s chin lightly.  
  
“Nothing, I just,” Sho pauses and man, Jun will never get tired at looking at this man no matter what. It’s just impossible. “I love you, you know?”  
  
“So you said,” he returns, face hot. It doesn’t matter how many times Sho’s told him he loves him, he will always feel like it’s the first time and that’s that. His heart will never stop acting like it wants to jump out of his chest knowing that Sho loves him, and that it probably never will. And Jun will love every minute of it.  
  
“You?” Sho asks, fingertip stroking the corner of Jun’s mouth, the mole above his lip. “You haven’t told me you – you know?”  
  
“Love you?” he teases, loving the way Sho’s eyes soften in answer.  
  
“Do you, really?”  
  
Jun wonders if this how it’s supposed to feel, like everything is shaded in colors and that there is nothing that could ruin this happiness he feels as he stares at Sho. He wonders if the feeling will wear out somehow, someday, but he guesses he won’t be able to tell and maybe, he doesn’t care, not really. For now, he wants to enjoy this to the fullest, be able to enjoy being in love with Sho and being loved by Sho in return.  
  
He nods and plants two soft kisses to Sho’s navel, before he raises his head and meets Sho’s gaze straight on.  
  
“From now until forever.” he says, and meaning it.  
  
Sho smiles and it’s the one that breaks Jun’s heart once, before, and the same thing that has him falling for Sho all over again now.  
  
  
Sho cups Jun’s face and it’s all Jun could do not to weep at the softness of Sho’s tone when he repeats, “From now until forever,” because Jun knows Sho means it, too.


End file.
